Monthly Archives: January 2012
Rosie and I went to shoot baskets at the Y with her cousin. He’s a senior in high school and almost as much of a hot tamale as Mark. He was so cool with us–not like Chris gets sometimes when he decides he’s too cool to be around a 7th grader. He showed me a cool way to dribble behind my back to keep the ball away from the defense.
Things That are Good (Unless I Jinx It)
- Rosie’s cousin was nice to me.
- Mark didn’t treat me like a dork after the whole staring thing on Tuesday
- Jilly is coming to the championship game tomorrow night. I guess she’s coming with Bus Boy and a bunch of other kids from her track.
Things That Are Freaking Me Out
- Chris is coming to the game tomorrow night. He has only been to two games (both in the finals).
- He’s bringing some friends from his basketball team. Yikes!
- Mom and Dad are videotaping the whole game–with 2 cameras in 2 different places–what is this, the WNBA (I wish)
- The entire school is probably going to be at this game because the girls’ team has not been in the championship for like 10 yrs or something.
I can’t stand the pressure…maybe I’ll go hide in the RV.
It was freezing today. I think I’m the only one who wore a coat that kept me warm. Everyone else had either no coat or like a hoodie or something. I felt stupid. I guess I’m supposed to tough it out so I look cool. But I hate being cold and I wore my ski jacket which is way cool. At least I think it is.
I was totally humiliated in I-Club today. I was supposed to be writing new blurbs about the teachers for this semester but I kept looking at Mark. I couldn’t help it. He hasn’t had a haircut for a while so it’s curling over the back of his collar, looking all cute and cool. Man.
So I kept looking at him and Serena caught me looking and says to Mark, right OUTLOUD so EVERYONE can hear: “Erin is totally staring at you.”
I started typing right away but I knew my face was totally red so of course he knew I was staring. He had turned around but there was no way I was going to look at him. I just shook my head and rolled my eyes. I could feel him grinning at me and that made me even more embarrassed.
Later I was at the printer and he came up behind me. I told him I was NOT staring at him, that Serena probably was and she was just trying to push it off on me. He goes whatever and I could have screamed. Why did I even bring it up? He probably wasn’t even thinking about it, had forgotten all about it and I’m bringing it up. Stupid, stupid, STUPID.
Why can’t I just keep my mouth shut? And how can I get Serena to keep hers shut?
We crushed the Sentinels! I was right. I made a 3-pointer to end the second half. It was sweet. That put us 6 pts ahead and in the 2nd half, they lost it. We won by 11. It was awesome. We are going to the championship!
Mark came up after the game and gave me high fives. “You rock,” he said. I flipped. I don’t think I’m over him. I thought I was but when he said that, and looked at me with both those eyes–well, I couldn’t stop thinking about him last night and today. He’s SO hot! I even looked at my pillow, wondering if maybe I needed to practice again. But I didn’t pick it up. I just can’t after everyone knows I’m a pillow-kisser. No. WAS a pillow-kisser. If I don’t kiss my pillow, then when people say something I can honestly say I don’t do that anymore.
Oh, geez. I’m thinking about kissing Cute Boy again. Oh, no. I’m calling him Cute Boy again. That can’t be good.
Things That are Freaking Me Out
- I think I like Mark Sacks…again (or maybe I never stopped)
- I think he might like me.
- I think he might not like me.
- Jilly’s lips touched his lips, even if they’ve been over for awhile and her lips now touch Bus Boy’s lips.
- What if I choke in the championship game?
Things That Make Me Feel Okay
- Jilly is being a great friend. She and Bus Boy cheered the loudest at the game.
- Rosie might try out for basketball next year.
- Tyler and I kicked the soccer ball around on Friday and it didn’t feel weird, even though we both know he wrote that poem that he says he didn’t write.
Why is my life starting to feel a little bit complicated again?
Basketball practice was the WORST. It was like I had grease on my hands or something. I kept missing passes and only made about three free throws, when usually I only MISS three or less.
Part of it may have been because Mark and Tyler came in to watch for part of the time. I just can’t figure him out. Mark, that is. First the basketball thing, then almost ST on Monday, and now he’s here watching me practice.
Unless he came to watch someone else. Were they looking at me? I thought they were but maybe I was wrong. I was so freaked that they were there that I couldn’t concentrate on anything. Maybe they came to see someone else on the team and I goofed up my practice for nothing.
Who could it be?
- Jamie. Very tall, pretty, feet that fit her height. She’s taller than Mark, though. I still don’t know if he’s the kind that would not like the girl to be taller than him.
- Steph. She’s one of the guards. Short hair, freckles, pretty much a permanent scowl on her face. But she can snap the ball like nobody’s business and always knows where everyone is on the court. It’s like she’s got ten sets of eyes or something. Basketball is basically her life. Not sure she makes time for a social life.
Wait. I’m not going to go through every girl on the team. That’s crazy. Especially because I don’t like either Mark or Tyler more than a friend.
I’m looking forward to our game this weekend. I think we’re going to crush them.
Chris took me to the library after school today and we saw Amanda. By herself. She was on that corner again. I guess she was waiting for what’s his name again. That must be their favorite meeting place or something.
When I saw her my heart started flipping and I kept stealing peeks at Chris to see what he was doing. But he acted like he didn’t even see her. She looked at him and rolled her eyes but he just ignored her and came inside with me.
Of course, I had to go to the window and see what happened next. I watched her for about five full minutes but the BF didn’t come. She was walking back and forth at the corner, looking down the street, shaking her head, checking her cell phone and stuff. Chris asked me what I was doing and didn’t I need a book and I said yeah and he looked out too and kinda smirked and shooked his head.
Then I got my book and we left. Amanda was gone when we got outside so I don’t know if the BF came while we were checking out or not.
When we got home, Jilly was waiting in my room. She was freaking because Bus Boy hadn’t called her over the weekend and he wasn’t in school 2day. I said maybe they went out of town and she said he would have told her and I said maybe he forgot and she said she thought he liked someone else and I told her she was crazy and she said she definitely was.
“Maybe he got in an accident,” she said. “Maybe he likes another girl and he’s too afraid to tell me so he’s ditching.”
Maybe he became an astronaut and went into space. Get a life, Jilly. Well, I didn’t tell her that. But sometimes I think she is too obsessed with this guy. I’m mean, he’s Bus Boy. I guess he’s cute but she’s like bonkers over him, like he’s some rock star or something.
Okay, there I go writing mean stuff that will somehow get back to Jilly and I’ll have Blog Fiasco #2.
What I mean to say is that she needs to get into a play or something so she has something to focus on besides whether Bus Boy is calling and if he ran away to New Mexico with some girl from another school or whatever.
Mark didn’t say much to me in class today but do you see me flipping out? Just because we played basketball together two days ago and he was giving me a Look like he might like me more than a friend and now he’s acting like he doesn’t even really know me? No. I’m not flipping out. I’m sure he’s really busy with paying attention in class and I don’t really care anyway because I don’t like him more than a friend anymore.
I met Mark at the Y to play some basketball. It’s weird and I probably shouldn’t write this because somehow it may get out and I’ll have BF #2 but I’m going to write it anyway.
I think Mark likes me MTAF–more than a friend. OMG. I can’t believe I just wrote that!
Why I Think Mark likes Me More Than a Friend
- He kept looking at me almost the whole time we were playing. And not just looking like he was waiting to see what I was going to do with the ball. Looking with kind of a look that was like he was looking at me as a girl, not as just his basketball opponent. It was SO WEIRD. But kind of cool, too.
- When I fell down and he held out a hand to help me up, he held onto my hand longer than he needed to. I think there’s some 2 second rule or something and he totally violated it. He held on for like 5 seconds and just looked in my eyes until I had to make a joke and look away. I wiped the hand on the back of my shorts, even though it wasn’t sweaty. Just out of habit.
- He wanted to know if I wanted to go get a Coke or something at Subway after we played. I couldn’t because I had to get new shoes with my mom but still…if I hadn’t had to get shoes, would I have gone?
How I Feel About Mark Maybe Liking Me More Than a Friend
- I don’t know!!!!
- I’m not sure how I feel about him after everything that’s happened. I can still remember when he touched my hand in I-Club that day. How I didn’t get all tingly and freaked out by it but maybe that’s because I was so worried about the launch.
- I don’t know!!!
- He’s still cute.
- Even though Jilly and Bus Boy are the big item, she might freak out if we started going out, especially because she did that whole “you can’t be friends with him once we break up” thing which got us into our huge fight in the first place.
Why am I talking about going out with Mark Sacks??? This is CRAZY!!!
What I am Going to Do About Mark Maybe Liking Me MTAF
- Talk to Jilly about it–maybe. I’m not sure I want to talk to Jilly about it.
- Figure out if it’s true. I’m probably making it up and Mark doesn’t like me MTAF.